This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
