how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
