I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
