I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
