no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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