i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize