Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
