Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize