jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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