Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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