Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
