I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
