the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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