Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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