She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
