I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
