i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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