Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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