Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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