i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize