The maid of honor just puked.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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