I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
