when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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