do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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