Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize