So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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