you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
