evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
