they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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