Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
