is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
