I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
And then my night got REAL pukey
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
