i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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