Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
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Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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