Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i out mim tonsoeep
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