Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
