You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
