To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
