Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
