So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
