I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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