Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
