i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
