it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just found puke in my bra..
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
