I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
