im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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