...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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