My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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