I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I have post one night stand depression
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