i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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