I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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