if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
