i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
