I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
