Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize