just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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