a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
do herpes really smell.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
