when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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