We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
