Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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