and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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