I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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