I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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