Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
