This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
